Steps to starting a successful chore system for your child

Start Small. Gain Success. Build.

Start with a few chores and build over time. Then you have an idea of how closely your reality will meet up with your expectations. My best advice is to start small, gain success and encourage your child, and then progress by adding a new chore every couple of weeks until you are at a good point. Only you can make that determination.

Get complete "buy-in" from your spouse or other adults in the household.

Too many well-intentioned moms or dads are thwarted by non-cooperative spouses and relatives. This will doom the system from the beginning. Everyone has to agree on how the system will work, how rewards will work, etc. Otherwise the child will not do what needs to be done. Also do not let visiting relatives undermine the system. The rules of the house are yours to make and enforce.

You should ask the “What if?” questions

My children are expert negotiators. Are yours? (“How many beans do I need to eat?”)

...so think about how to handle the following scenarios:

What if they decide not to cooperate?

What if they want more rewards?

What if my spouse does not support the system?

What if family does not support the system?

What if we travel?

What if the kids do not do a chore? (By accident, on purpose)

What if they do the chore, but they do not move the chore card?

What if Grandma comes to stay with us?

You should model the right behavior

If you do not work through a list of things to do yourself… maybe it’s time to start. Your child can spot a hypocrite more quickly than you can!

Include your child

...and include your child in your personal chore list creation and management so that he has some appreciation for all the things you must do yourself (this may not result in tons of appreciation, but it helps, especially if done consistently)

Stay consistent with the chores and the reminders

Regardless of whether the chores are the same, the implementation of the system should be as consistent between children as possible. You and your spouse should not do things differently to a great degree. From week to week you should not change the way you enforce the chores or the way you do the rewards The pictures and/or words used to describe the chores should not change from week to week (or from day to day!)

I hear this complaint a lot from Moms who decided to draw pictures for their kids themselves. (Or who have their kids make their own pictures) Great idea, but you’d better make some copies or draw them the exact same way each and every time!

Be sure to follow-through!

The enablers we may be… if you set rules for how rewards are distributed you should stick to them. You may be sabotaging your own system if you find yourself regularly:

• Failing to record completed chores

• Failing to award tokens/coupons

• Telling your child how they should “spend” their tokens

• Not allowing your child to redeem rewards, or not following through on promised rewards

• Being reminded by your child of what you agreed to

Remember why you started!
Don't give up because it get's hard now and then. Stick with it!